Break Up// Break Down?

And so the high school drama begins (or continues).... Boy breaks up with girl about two months ago after about a year and 8 months. they have a lot of mutual friends, so they still are around each other a lot at school. so he fucks with her all the time and she gets her friend to try and tell him to back the fuck off. so the next week, he takes her purse, she tries to get it back, and he... well we will give him the benefit of the doubt...accidentally back-handed her. so being the girl that she is, she hits back. one being a shot to the face. he drops the purse and she puts it back with her stuff and walks over to him asking why he has to be such an ass to her. he turns around and punches her in the face. (same side where she got back-handed) she starts hitting back, and he throws her down on the ground.

ok. enough with the third person shit. my ex-boyfriend punched me in the face. end of story. it got all swollen and red and it hurt like a bitch. stayed that way for about two days. i have a bunch of guy friends ready to fuck his ass up because of what he did. his response? going around telling everyone that i'm a lying bitch and that i'm getting people to beat him up because i'm just mad that he broke up with me. talking to him now, he says that he was lying throughout our whole relationship and that at the end, he didn't even love me. which just shows how much he's trying to prove that he doesn't need me in his life. and its kinda sad when his friends tell me that it's so obvious he still likes me. same reason applies to why he ran out and got a girlfriend in less that two weeks after breaking up with me.

so where does this leave me? well, i for one, am not in denial. i have no problem saying i still love him. mind you, i wouldn't take him back and i'm not hung up on him. i've moved on to bigger and better things. (like the hot guy i'm hooking up with on a regular basis.) i've tried to rebuild my life, knowing damn well that the guy that told me he would propose to me at prom, is trying to hurt me so he can feel better and forget he still loves me. yes, i was naive. and so what? but that's over now. and it's a great and terrible thing at the same time. it's the fact of losing that constant in your life that puts everything off kilter.

and so, with the whole school getting told i'm a liar, my friends about to beat the shit out of my ex-boyfriend, and me wondering what the fuck is going on in my head, i continue my amazingly fucked up life. my grades are dropping, i want to lose weight, and smoking sounds really good right now. but i've been keeping my on going record- i haven't cried since he broke up with me like two months ago. and that is one thing i have to be proud of.

this weekend i'm just gonna try and relax. got football on sunday and chilling with friends later today. now i'm just talking to one of my friends about weed vs. cigarettes..... i think i'm gonna get some cookie dough ice cream... yummy


*there you go. my first post. hate it? love it? random like shit, i know. so tell me about it. leave a comment.